Under Pressure

Has anyone else felt the pressure to make something so incredible that you knew there was no way you could live up to your own expectations? This is how I viewed my anniversary plans as they were unfolding before me. I planned - for months - my anniversary weekend and when the time and place arrived I was paralyzed - not by fear, but by my own expectations. I made reservations at a ritzy hotel, arranged for a note to be written in chocolate congratulating us on 9 years of marriage, accompanied by a pretty "flower" concoction made entirely of sugar. A bottle of wine and a great meal capped off the night. It was great. Maybe too great. After all this I just wanted to do one thing. You know what I'm going to say, yes, I wanted it! I wanted to do this so badly I could feel it from head to my toes. I undressed, slipped into a newly purchased silk nightie anticipating the moment. Already in bed, Kam waited eagerly. As I slipped under the covers I could feel his his warm body next to mine, making the urge undeniable. I brushed his lips softly with mine, and....... fell asleep. Sadly, the desire for sleep was greater than any romantic fantasy I tried to create. It was, I realized later, the fact that I had tried so hard that created this exhaustion. So while reality is the one thing I tried most to escape ( for 24 hours anyway) it was the only thing my body responded to......at least, right then. HaHaHaHaHa