Let's just say it's been a bad day.
I try to work hard around the house:inside, outside, upside down. And in my professional opinion I do my job well;especially considering the compensation sucks! Kam actually took his finger and swiped the top of the hutch here at the computer desk this morning and said, "we have to dust". We? I almost spit out. We? Really? Translation "McGee, when was the last time you cleaned?" I spent the morning in the back yard trimming shrubs and trees, until something flew at me and stuck in my arm, pulling it out made it bleed but only enough that the little girls were fascinated with my "Boo-Boo". Noah yelled at me and raised his fists when I wouldn't give him something he demanded.That was after picking him up 10 minutes late from his art class and for that indefensible crime I "owed" him. Madison burst into tears when I scolded her for riding her bike in the middle of the road, later swearing she would never ride her bike with us again. McKenzie rolled her eyes at me when I tried to explain that I couldn't allow her to play in the "big" pool at the club because I had 4 kids to keep my eyes on and 3 don't know how to swim. She stubbornly refused to see my point of view and said if she couldn't go in the big pool she didn't want to go at all. This started a lot of whining and "c'mon mom"'s. Emily woke up from her afternoon nap yelling and crying out of control. No matter what I tried to do to comfort her she raged that she wanted her daddy as she threw herself to the floor, kicking and screaming. At this point I knew that I would have been better off had I not got out of bed this morning. Ever had one of those days? I've had a few recently. I'm trying to see the glass 1/2 full. But what I see is instead are the demands of those who don't notice me. They notice what I don't give them or do for them, but I don't think they see me. If they did they might notice that I haven't brushed my hair in a while. Or that I wear my uniform of t-shirts and shorts and tennies each day. They might see the circles under my eyes. How do people with more than 2 children do this job? I suck at this! Big Time!
2 comments:
You don't suck, you're a great mom! Everyone has bad days and everyone has good days. Being a mom is hardwork, but I know you're doing a great job and doing the best you can.
You are an inspiration to me, and I'm sure many moms. These bad days, and feelings you're having, unfortunately are part of the territory.
From what I've learned, Emily likely yells & screams with you more because of the unconditional love you give her. She feels so comfortable with you that she can break down.
I can't believe you can handle 4 kids at a pool. I'd never do it alone, swimming or no.
Make tomorrow a fun day, even if in some small way, some time just for you (maybe 30 minutes).
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