What Do you Know?

written by kadi prescott @ kadiprescott.blogspot.com

You know you're in serious trouble when you go looking for your missing child and he is out front, trying to buy a popsicle from the ice cream man, with your credit card.

You know you're screwed when your kids can team up to distract you, while one kid steals the good snacks from the pantry.

You know you've got problems when your daughter calls the wine "coffee" because you put both in a to go mug and carry it around wherever you go.

You know you need to work out when your kids nickname you "jiggly butt."

You know you're a bad parent when your 2 year old learns to diaper himself because he's so sick of waiting an hour to be changed.

You know you're addicted when your daughter tells her teacher that mommy loves her blog more than her kids.

You know you're doomed when the kids figure out that Santa isn't real and that they can be bad and still get presents because you can't keep track of who's been naughty and nice.

You know you're a mom when you go out in public, alone, and guys stare at you. Not because you're hot, but because you're wearing Barbie hair clips that you let the girls put in while playing beauty shop. Cute.

You know you're destined for the parenting hall of shame when you give your kids a death threat and they laugh hysterically.

You know you're a sorry excuse for a mom when your kids remember each other's names, birthdays and food allergies, but you cannot even recognize their faces in the school pick up line.

You know you need help when you end every day thinking, "Maybe tomorrow I'll figure out this whole parenting thing.

You know you're psycho when you write about all of the above in a blog for the world to read and expect them to laugh with you, not call CPS.